April 5

Greetings!  This might come as a surprise, but I’m dead.  From what I can tell, my wound became infected and then it was downhill from there.  I could tell something was up because I started having those hallucinations again. 

So I’m in Heaven now.  Sorry it took me so long to write again.  I had some trouble getting back down to Earth to recover my diary.  Tracey locked it up in a box in her attic along with a bunch of my other stuff.  Turns out ghosts can go through walls, but we can’t pick locks.

Anyway, it’s very nice up here.  Here’s why I think so:

1)      God is a great guy, but he told me that his son has never ridden a dinosaur.

2)      I finally got to ride a dolphin!  You can do pretty much whatever you want up here, so right after that I beat Wilt Chamberlain in a game of one-on-one.

3)      Free t-shirts.

This is going to be my last entry.  I think I would rather go out and enjoy myself than spend so much time writing.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go learn Spanish from Ricardo Montalban.