November 25

I’m beginning to regret that I asked Captain Tom to take me out to sea in the wintertime, because it is outrageously cold out here on the ocean.  The wind blows mightily and tosses our boat around like Matt Mitchell did to me in the fifth grade.  I was small.

We’ve been at sea for two days, but I haven’t changed yet because I’m afraid I will freeze to death the second I take off my coat.  I think it’s because of these things:

1)      When I was seven, my older brother – may he rest in peace – told me snow was God’s dandruff, and that totally grossed me out.

2)      The year after, I came inside after playing in the cold to find that boogers had frozen on my upper lip in the shape of Fidel Castro’s face.

Luckily we are headed for warmer waters.  Captain Tom says that the fish finder has detected movement to the south.  That means that if we make haste in that direction, we have a good chance of finding some dolphins.